it's a colourful world

Sunday, September 03, 2006

last monday, we had a class chapel. we had a time of sharing but who on earth would want to share infront of them, so ms tay shared about her dog's death. i was crying and it reminded me about my hamster and my aunt's death. these events are probably the ones that make me go into much deep thoughts. the events run through my mind like it just happened to me ytd. just that now i can't feel the feeling as strong as before.

i had to go for a funeral today. a relative of mine died. a relative from my dad's side. normally i won't be affected by it cos i don't know most people from my father's side. but the fact that scared me was that he is ONLY sec 1.

yes. a sec 1 from cat. high.

he had a hole in the heart and he died when he was playing basketball. PLAYING.

when i was on my way there, i was very curious about him, i guess because of the way he died. as i was walking there, i saw his friends going as a group towards the same area. upon seeing then, this thought went through my mind. " won't the friends who played basketball with him be here? they must be feeling guilty." i felt really bad for them cos i was feeling gulity at my aunt's funeral although i did not do anything to cause her death. it's just that i had a chance to see her before her death but i chose not to due to my selfishness. my mum was saying that we(as in me and my sister) were the two children whom she dote on most. i felt so bad. i cried so much then.

i have never seen the guy before in all my years so it was a big shock when i saw his face in the coffin. not that he's ugly or anything but there was this part on his's lips which was kind of black. that shocked me. i couldn't figure out what was that and it was really weird as you compare the way he died and him. ITS SO SAD. even his friends were crying. i was like the only one who didn't even tear. im such a unfeeling person.

anyway before me and my mum were about to leave, she was talking to my aunt about lots of matters regarding my dad's family. after we left, i asked her about where he died. and she told me that he was proclaimed dead in the hospital but he was already about to die in school and the fell flat down halfway while playing basketball that's why he got a cut on his lips.

it's so sad. he died so young. never experienced so many things.

the whole event just got me thinking about what if i never knew if one of my friends got into an accident and died? WHAT IF.

so all of you who read this. better inform me if anything happens to you. if anything like this happens to mel or peter i think i would feel extremely guilty if i didn't know about it. EXTREMELY. and obviously sad.

4:54 PM;

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